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I look forward to hearing from you.
Emily Ackerman 
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Thank you very much for this book, I found it most helpful. I had a significant caring role for my late mother who passed away 3 years ago, so I can identify with much of what has been said in your book.
The key points to caring for me were planning, preparation & communication together with a good support network. My wife being a daughter-in-law had the “distance” that I didn’t have, which helped me to see things more objectively. The value of a good spouse cannot be understated.
Dear Emily, I have found your book so helpful, thank you for writing it. What really sticks in my mind is what you said about accepting that looking after my elderly parents is my current ministry, even if I have had more “satisfying” or seemingly “successful” ministries in the past – this is where God has placed me NOW and it is as important as anything else, even though it is mostly unseen and it can feel as if I never do enough to make a difference. Accepting this situation has brought me a peace that was lacking. My family moved 3 years ago (husband’s job) and my parents followed very quickly and although it does seem as if life goes on around me and passes me by – have not really begun to make the most of this place – we have found a good church and we have much to be thankful for. Wonder what your next book will be about! Best wishes Elizabeth
Thank you for the book which I am reading at the minute. Parental care is very much the live issue for both my brother and I as Mum and Dad are at the stage of life of needing care, and we have to deal with that care – both of us, because of practical considerations, from a fair geographical distance. It is good to have something written which provides a Biblical foundation and practical suggestions on the issue.
When will your book be available in Kindle format, please? Some people who may benefit from this book may have challenges holding it. Thanks very much.
Hi Shelley, thank you for your comment. I assume you’re asking about ‘The Amazing Technicolour Pyjama Therapy’. I’ve had several requests for an ebook version. We have submitted the file to the clever people who make books into ebooks but there has been a very long delay at their end. There doesn’t seem to be anything we can do to hurry them up, so I’m afraid we’ll just have to wait it out. My previous book, ‘A Time To Care’, has an ebook available now, if that’s what you’re looking for. Emily
Thanks, Emily. Yes, I was referring to The Amazing Technicolour Pyjama Therapy book. Thanks for your efforts to get it into an electronic version. I appreciate that very much. And thanks for the response. God bless you.
I have been thrown into this challenging, chaotic world of caring for my parents this year. As you say in your introduction to Time to Care, compared with the many instances of chatting that supported me through raising my three boys on a budget with a husband on shifts, there seemed to be no-one to talk to about this, until I was recommended your book. I felt like I was navigating these demands with someone beside me and for that I am grateful. Now, 3 months after the stroke, and 3 weeks after my father came out of hospital, I’m trying to work out how to balance everything and feeling alone, despite many kind words from friends and other family. It’s the not-knowing how long it will go on, and yet not wanting him to go that is perhaps the biggest challenge emotionally. Any tips? words of humour? wisdom? All welcome! Thanks,
Hi Sarah, thanks for your comment. I’m glad you felt a little less alone with the book beside you. That’s exactly why I wrote it.
It is all a huge challenge, isn’t it? and the open ended nature of the job is a big part of the problem. Kids grow up and leave home, which is a natural and happy end to the season of caring for them. Parents, well, if you do your job right, they get worse and die in the end! Not such a straightforward finish line.
When I was writing the book, I used to pray for my future readers every morning in the shower. I sometimes shed a tear or two as I reflected on the challenges and burdens that carers face each day. As it took me three years to write the book, there were a lot of morning prayers offered to a God who listens, cares and answers. I believe that prayers are like money in the bank; once they’ve been prayed, they are available to the person prayed for when the need is greatest. So right now, as you muddle through the days with your dear parents, you are covered by every one of those prayers. You are Holy Spirit turbo-charged. I hope that offers a bit of confidence and hope.
As time goes by, you’ll learn ways to care more effectively and efficiently, so that you’ll tend to feel less lost. You’re still in the ‘new job’ phase just now. I’m glad you have supportive friends and family and I suggest you enjoy any compliments and graciously accept any offers to help. If it’s all a bit bleak, seek out funny films or books, or a puppy!
Well done for trying and I wish you every good thing. Emily
Hello again Emily. So now it is 3 months on from my message to you and it was such a help to think of it as a new job!
Many things are now settled – not better, but we are used to them, and the constant procession of people through the house has reduced to a few familiar carers most of the time. Though we face challenges still – but they are every day or week instead of every hour or minute. The current one is that carers taking public transport cannot come in after 8pm, and yet my parents evening is not ready to end then. So I’m back looking for another agency and seeing if we can stretch it to 9pm at least.
I find different bits of your book have become familiar to me as I work my through and as someone said to me ‘muddling through is enough’.
I still struggle to find the moments of joy in it all for or with them – he is surviving, she is exhausted. Pray God will bring his tender lovingkindness. Thanks for your help in this – there are not enough voices out there.
Hi Sarah, thanks for dropping by again.
I found with my own parent care situation that things fell more into a pattern as the months went by. Not no challenge but less new challenges in each day. So it’s interesting that you too find this pattern is forming.
Muddling through is more than enough,it’s a triumph worth celebrating.
The steady flow of problems needing solved never quite lets up, does it, but problem-solving stimulates good things like creativity, perseverance and prayer. I felt better when I realised that problem-solving was a permanent feature of the terrain. This meant I could relax and stop expecting to get to the end of all these problems!
I’m honoured to accompany you through this life season, really I am. It’s quite a thought to me that this little book has sold in all sorts of places and countries I’ve never visited. It’s been translated into German and Slovak, languages I can’t speak. It’s a privilege to support people I will never meet.
All the best with the late evening care issue. Is it worth advertising locally to see if anybody suitable is in their neighbourhood?
Hello it’s me again – more than a year since I started this ‘job’ of parent-caring. And now my dear father has had a further stroke and lost more mobility, some speech, and some swallowing too. The next phase is discharge from hospital to a residential nursing home – a relief for my mother not to be the primary carer, but a whole lot of new problem-solving! and the money too, they are not eligible for any funding, but not so rich they don’t worry. I continue to dip into your very helpful book and recommend it to others. This can be a lonely road – although as I talk about it to others I find there are many out there doing the same. But where is the co-ordinated support? Why are the good social services people only funded part time? Why can you never speak to the same person twice? Why does all residential care/nursing home information focus on ‘activities’ – my father does not do activities, he lives life, watches cricket, goes to prayer meetings, talks to friends, welcomes strangers, goes out for coffee or to the movies. Excuse the rant – I feel like the services of the wonderful NHS and many charities are aimed at someone that my dad is not and I struggle to find the alternatives. The Lord has sustained us though, and he is sufficient – this I hold onto as do my parents. With thanks again.
Hello again! It is indeed a lonely road, good for you for reaching out to share your thoughts. You’re not the only one to feel this way about dealing with social services. Unfortunately residential care is built around the idea of passivity, of entertaining those who can no longer take part on life on their own terms. The best staff cheerfully subvert this philosophy – and an advocate such as yourself makes a massive difference, by connecting your loved one to the outside world and remembering their experiences, competences, wisdom and preferences. My own dear dad lies bedfast in a nursing home and his visitors keep him afloat emotionally. Telling the staff every time how much we appreciate their kindness doesn’t hurt, either. I worked in a nursing home as a teenager and it is really motivating to be appreciated by visitors. A care home shouldn’t be an orphanage, with old people adrift from the community.
All the best with your God-honoured work.
Hi Emily,
Thank you so much for your courage in sharing. I’m wondering if The Amazing Technicolour Pyjama Therapy is likely to be made into an audio book? I have friends who I want to share it with but who cannot read small print which feels like a shame.
God bless you.
Hi Steve, Torch Trust have an audio version available. Emily